My buddy Andrew drove out to my side of town for lunch and he brought his Prius. When we left my house heading to Angelo's for some chicken parm, I excitedly asked if we could take the little Toyota. I got a lesson in hybrid driving on the way there, and then he let me take the wheel of that bad boy for the drive back.
I should provide a little background info before I start editorializing. I am a real petrol-head. By my calculations I've owned just under 200 cars and a number of motorcycles as well. As a true car guy, I, as you would imagine, am not a big fan of hybrids. I don't have a problem with hybrid technology. I'm cool with some of the workable applications such as the Lexus RX400h or the GS400h. Mercedes even makes an S-Class hybrid now. However, when it comes to the hybrids that most environmentalists get all mushy about like the Prius and the Honda Insight, I'd rather drive the Barbie-mobile than have to live with one of those electric toasters.
I actually owned a 2001 Insight for a brief time. I was curious and thought I'd try one out.
When Andrew mentioned last year that he was thinking about getting a Prius I told him that if he did I was going to beat him up. I let him slide (so far) because it's not his only car and he at least has one for the right reason - gas mileage. I have to admit that his Prius is a much better car than the Insight I had. It's more comfortable and actually has a back seat. I had the same problem with the Prius that I did with the Insight though - driving the gauges. Hybrids always have these really neat graphics to tell you how well you're doing saving the environment. When I drive one I can't stop myself from "driving the gauges" by feathering the throttle and brake to constantly try to maximize fuel efficiency and charge the battery. It's stupid and annoying and probably dangerous.
I hate the Prius as a car. It's slow, very light, not particularly comfortable, and not even quiet. I think they're dangerous (I'm pretty sure you'd lose a head-on collision with a Vespa) and I don't even want to try to imagine what it would be like in fast moving traffic or anywhere with hills.
I hate the Prius as an environmental statement even more. If anyone out there starts feeling 'smug' about your Prius, keep in mind that you have a battery made from primarily nickel. I'll give you a little lesson: they mine this nickel in Canada (perhaps you remember hearing stories from time to time about sulfuric acid rain killing everything - that's from nickel mining), then they load it onto enormous cargo ships to Germany where it's refined before being shipped to China where they turn it into a sort of foam-like substance and then to Japan where it is combined with parts shipped in from 70 different countries to go into the little environmental assassins that are then shipped back around the globe to primarily Californians. By comparison, our Chevy Tahoe was made in Arlington, Texas, out of parts that were primarily produced in the US. That said, there are some good ideas in the Prius, environmentally speaking. The plastics are all bio-degradable, it's produced in a zero-landfill factory, etc.
There is really only one legitimate reason to drive a Prius - to save money on gas! While I don't do it myself, I don't have a problem with hunting. What I do have a problem with is the idiotic reasons hunters like to give when asked why they do it: "I hunt for the meat" - you can buy game meat from any meat market for a FRACTION of what it costs you to shoot and process it yourself. "We need to thin the herds so they won't starve to death" - sure, now that you've hunted all the natural predators out of the wild you've become a conservationist and animal lover. My personal favorite is when they tell you what a "beautiful" creature the elk/bear/deer they just shot is on hunting shows. I know when I see a gorgeous creature my first thought is to put a 30-30 shell through it's skull. People hunt for one reason - they get off on killing something. It's OK to just say that. Be honest about it. Hybrid drivers are just about as bad. "I'm doing it to save the environment." "I'm driving it for the future of my children." - If you have an accident in one of those things, you're children aren't going to have a future. Just drive it to save money on gas. Better yet, buy a Volt and almost never buy gas. (Side note - Volt's are starting to show up around here and I have to admit that it's a MUCH better looking car than previous hybrids.)
Here I am pimpin' the Prius today. I'm happy to report that I don't think anyone I know saw me so I get to keep my man-card, and Andrew tells me that I have a natural ability for hybrid driving. I was able to achieve some "Stealth Warping" (or something like that) on my first try which I'm told can take weeks to master.
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